Decision Time

I need to make my mind up about what I want to do this winter. Do I want to commit to marching and subject myself to the pain and financial hardship, give up all my weekends, but in the end achieve something amazing? Or do I accept that my marching days are over and spend my winter teaching the activity that I love. I am stuck between two great options. There are pros and cons to both. If I decide to march I am going to have to physically change a lot and subject my body to a lot of stress. I thought I would be ok, but this weekend proved that I am not in the same physical shape as I used to be. Also, the activity as a whole has progressed a lot since the days that I marched. It is a lot more dance and movement orientated, and whilst I know how to, I just don't know if my body can keep up with my brain anymore. I am not going to lie, I am in some considerable pain from this past weekend. Also the financial commitment is a lot. I have been told to expect dues of around $1400 and that really just isn't possible for me right now. Money is tighter than ever, thanks to some silly friverlous spending in recent months. I need to tighten my purse strings, not be committing myself to more pay outs. Finally, there is the time commitment. Every weekend between now and march besides three I would be at practice all weekend! If this new friendship/potential relationship/whatever it might be in PA is going to have any chance of going anywhere then committing all my time and funds elsewhere is probably not a good idea. I wouldn't be able to teach as much as I would like to, and any trips to go and see him would be impossible!

So if I don't march there are a lot of plusses. I would have some time at weekends to still have a social life. I would just continue to teach the open guard and also the high school guard. This would mean my only regular weekend rehearsal time would be Sunday evenings. Then three rehearsals during the week with the odd weekend camp for either guard. This would still give me my fill of colourguard and would allow me to still be creative, but without spending all that money and destroying my body in the process.

I think I have pretty much answered my own question here. As much as I really wanted to march this year it just seems financially and logistically impossible. I am old haha and my body is giving out. In terms of people in general I am in pretty good shape I would say. I am active, I enjoy exercising and adventure, but in terms of what is required to march a season with a World class colourguard, I just don't think I can handle it. I don't want to feel like a quitter, but there are just so many things working against me on this one.