Excited Feeling

I haven't felt this way for a while, and as much as the feeling is really nice, I am also terrified! I kinda met someone. Well actually I re-met someone. Someone who, 9 years ago, was in the same drum corps as me. I always remember him from back in those days. I remember thinking he was cute but at the time I was shy and also swept up in a summer romance with someone else. Since the end of that season we haven't been in contact, until recently, when through someone else I knew, I added him to FaceBook. We started talking and exchanged numbers and for the last week or so have been texting back and forth a lot. And when I go to PA for Columbus Day we are planning to hang out. Then he has said he would like to come up here at the end of October. I really like talking to him and he seems like an awesome guy. He has all the attributes that I look for. I feel like I am falling for him already, and from what he has told me, he likes me a lot too. He has told me on a number of occassions he wish he had spoken to me before and that I should move back to PA. I love the way it feels right now, but I am nervous. I have been in situations like this before and always ended up hurt and dissapointed. I am trying to be smart about everything this time. But right now, after recent events with the other person in my life, it's nice to finally feel genuinly excited about someone else.

This weekend I was hoping to see the other person in my life right now. I really want to be cool with the whole friendship thing. I am past hoping for anything more now, finally! Saturday we were supposed to hang out and going to a beer festival in Plymouth. But of course, as I almost certainly knew he would, he let me down. He said it was out of his control, but I don't know if that is true or not. Some friends of his decided they wanted to go. My problem is, if he really was cool with us just being friends then he would have been able to tell his friends he already had plans and wouldn't have blown me off for them. But of course, as I am his secret friend, he couldn't do that for risk of suspicion! It makes me so angry!!! Then we have spoken both nights and of course the innuendos came flowing freely from him. Last night I was just tired of it so I told him I was going to sleep! I'm not going to be that to him. I sincerely thought I meant more than that to him, but I'm starting to feel otherwise. If that's really the only reason he wants me in his life then I am not interested in being his friend. I am glad now that rather than feel upset with all this I am finally getting mad at him! I am better than that!

So here's to a good week. I am a little confused over my emotions right now but feeling better than I have been in recent weeks. So I plan just to ride the wave for right now and see what happens. Lots going on for me right now so I just need to live in the moment for a bit and enjoy it.