What a whirlwind of a weekend! Here's a bit of a run down
Friday night after all the drama that happened during the day I actually felt ok on the way home. Then it hit me. This was a huge deal! Something was definitely going to change. I had no plans so I was sitting home, in my emotional state, watching the London Olympic Opening Ceremony with my roommate's dog. I was hysterical. Not only was the magnitude of what had happened hitting me but I was dealing with the worst case of homesickness and pride for my home country that I had ever experienced in my life as I watched in awe at the amazing spectical they put on. Then just after 10 he called me. I asked how things were with his wife and he just said that he thinks she had calmed down but that he hadn't called her, just text her. I was a little surprised that I was receiving my second call and he hadn't called her once. But he went on to basically tell me that our friendship had to change a lot. We needed to put some distance between us and this pretty much broke my heart. He asked me not to text him for a week and that we could only talk when he was working. So basically we can only talk when he wants to, I get no say in that at all and if I happen to want to talk to him I can't, I have to wait for him to contact me. He told me that there is way too much holding him to his marriage and he wants to focus on that. All the time he is talking to me he can't do that. He also went on to say that even if his marriage did fall apart he wouldn't want me. He would probably just move back to Chicago with his family. He said that his week away with them had lead him to do a lot of reflecting. So he pretty much told me that there is no place for me in his life. He told me he wanted to save our friendship but that it would have to be a lot more distant. That just sounds to me as a cop out because if that happens it will eventually just fade out into nothing. Out of sight out of mind. So I realised that I pretty much have no control over this. I have to just wait and see what he says Saturday, if and when he calls. Then we go from there I guess.
Saturday morning I had plans to go see an old friend from PA who was up in Maine visiting a friend of his. We weren't all that close and I didn't really know what to expect of the weekend, but I needed a distraction and this was perfect. I set out early Saturday and headed up to Maine. I got there around lunch time and my friend and his friend were just hanging out. Well, to my surprise and joy, I slotted right into their weekend and it felt as if I had known them both for ever. I had such a fun time! Saturday we hung out at his friend's camp on the lake, they ate lobster and we drank all day. We went out for dinner in the evening to a wicked cool grill place where they had live margaritaville style music. It was just so much fun and I felt so at ease with both of them! Sunday morning we slept in a little and then went out to breakfast, did some shopping and then hung out at the camp again. My friend's friend's family were there and again I felt so welcome, like I had known them all for ages. It started raining so we spent a lazy day hanging out watching the Olympics, then later on went out for dinner with some more of the family. I was nervous about feeling out of place but yet again I felt so welcome and before we knew it we were all laughing hard and hitting it off well. And I am really glad I felt so comfortable because......... I really liked my friend's friend :) and I think he liked me too. We spoke about hanging out again, going to a Red Sox game or Six Flags or something. I would really like to do either. And he doesn't live too far away. I made it home in just over an hour and a half last night. I don't know why but I could definitely see something coming of this. It's very early days, we only just met, but my friend was saying how his family all liked me and thought I was great and his friend made a point of telling his sister that we were going to hang out and told me he definitely thought I fit in well with the group. I guess we will just have to see where this goes. The main good thing about this? HE IS NOT MARRIED!!!!! Haha. 100% available!
So this morning I am experiencing some mixed feelings about everything. I am still thinking a lot about what happened Friday, but I am more mad than upset! I am still worried about losing my friend but I am tired of having to work so hard at making it work anyway! If he want's to be my friend then it's his turn to work at it. If not then I think it's high time I finally got over all this. I knew it had to happen eventually! It's going to be hard, I really do love him, but living like this is no fun, and really quite painful at times. And hopefully this new friendship I have discovered in Maine might go somewhere. I do believe in the saying that good things fall apart so that better things can fall together, I guess maybe that is what is happening here. Only time will tell.
So 4 day week this week and then a much needed trip to Pennsylvania, my true US home! I love living in Boston but I do miss my life in PA a lot. I am so excited to visit my friends and those I really consider my family this weekend. It is exactly what I need!!! Thursday cannot come fast enough!
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