Ugh I hate this feeling like this. I thought I should blog it out. I have that horrid anxious feeling inside me! Like I need to do something to get him back. I saw the name of the place I lived when him and I first met and I was instantly transported back eight years and found myself heartbroken at what could have so easily been. What was meant to me if only it hadn't have been for circumstances beyond the control of 20 year olds. I need to get on with my life and I don't understand why I can't. I think if only I could just meet someone who would treat me like I know he would have done, make me laugh the way he does, make me feel the way he can. If only I could meet that guy then I would be able to move on from this. The guy in Maine doesn't completely do that, I can tell. Grrrr I am sick of feeling so hopeless, like my life is over and it's too late for me to find happieness. I am exceedingly jealous of the life that he and his wife have together. I know obviously there is issues, but those issues aren't big enough for him to walk away from everything great about his life. She has it pretty sweet too. While I sit here in a job I really don't enjoy, she gets to be the stay at home mom to that adorable baby of his. She doesn't take care of her husband the way I would if I were her. She takes him completely for granted. Sure he has his faults. He sounds like he could be a little moody from time to time, and he works a lot. But he works to further his career so he can support his family. What woman wouldn't be thankful for that?!?! Aaaaggghhh it makes me so angry. I want him! I love him! And I would make him the happiest man in the world!!! I would see to it that my purpose in life from now on out would be to make sure he was never sad or unhappy or angry ever again. And if he ever needed to just crash and burn, I would be there to catch him!
Ok rant over, sorry :(
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