Today is the day we were supposed to be going to Maine. I remember thinking a few weeks ago before all the drama started just how excited I was going to be. But as I said before, it's probably the best thing for the longevity of any kind of friendship between us that we didn't go, even without everything that happened. The way we had been talking right up until he went to Chicago didn't bode well for us being able to control our urges on this trip. So as much as I wish we could have still gone, I'm ok that we didn't. The only thing that bothers me is the thought that maybe he took his wife instead and that him and I haven't spoken since his surprise call Monday night. We did plan not to speak again until this coming Monday so I know I can't get worried, but at the same time I know that he is trying to forget me just like I am trying to forget him, and the fact that he is ok with that breaks my heart.
But I do have someone in my life all of a sudden who is helping me forget. And it has come out of no where. I was speaking to him for a while now and didn't really give him the time of day. How wrong I was. I actually really enjoy spending time with him. We had our second date last night. He made dinner, which was awesome, and we just hung out. We went out for a couple of Murphys and then back to his. Well lets just say I ended up spending the night, and it was so nice waking up next to someone who actually wanted to roll over and cuddle you in the morning. It is a feeling that I have missed for so long now, the feeling of someone actually wanting you, and needing you. He made me feel like that last night, and it was the best I have felt in a very long time. Tonight, however, I am a little nervous. He wants me to come over and meet his four year old son from his previous marriage. I don't really know how I feel about it. Yes, I would definitely like to meet his son and feel like I am becoming a part of his life, but at the same time we have only been on two dates and they were both this week. Plus, I always feel awkward around kids. I have never dated anyone with a kid before and I just don't want to mess up. I want him to like me and I want his kid to like me, but what if he doesn't. If I am going to become a part of his life then I need to be able to bond with his son. Aaagghh just typing this is making me even more nervous. I guess all I can do is go over there and hope for the best. He told me to bribe him with Cheeze Its and Lemonade haha, so I guess that's what I'll do.
This weekend I have my motorcycle class. I'm beyond excited!!! I can't wait to put all the gear on and get on that bike. Just achieving this is going to be a great feeling. It's something I have wanted to do for a while and now I finally am. Let's just hope I pass and can afford a bike one day.
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