Time for an Update

It's been a few days since I updated this. Maybe that is because, sub-conciously, I am dealing with my inner deamons a little better, and feel that I don't need to air them out quite as much as I did before. I don't really know. I think it has something to do with the fact I am becomming a little busier outside of work and just not thinking about the things that upset me quite as much as I normally do. Anyways, I thought I would write today and see what came out.

This weekend was amazing! I went down to PA to see my friend perform, something I have been meaning to do all season. It just reminded me what I left behind in order to move here. I keep telling myself that I moved here to better my life, and culturally I did. But I am not really any better off financially and emotionally I am dealing with the same issues that I dealt with back in Allentown, only now I don't have the friend network to help me through it. The loneliness does get to me a considerable amount up here and although I do like living up here I miss a lot of aspects about my life in Allentown. I think if I just could have found a job there that paid better I may never have left. I am still struggling financially up here, not quite as bad, but if I have any hope of moving out on my own I will be back in exactly the same spot! I know I need to give it some time up here, once winterguard gets started I will make new friends and will hopefully start to feel some of the love I felt in TIA. I am a little concerned from past experiences with the circuits up here, about clicks and people's attitudes, but I hope that people will have grown out of that and that I can just have a good time like I always did working with TIA in PA.

This week is going to be a little odd. My Dad gets here on Thursday, and as much as my Dad and I have an odd relationship, I am looking forward to spending some time with him. He is family after all and that is something I spend a lot of time without. It's getting to be my favourite but also one of the hardest times of year for me. Thanksgiving and then Christmas to deal with, both of which I love, but come the actual day when I am alone and thinking about everyone else spending time with their families, it can be tough. But who knows, maybe come the holidays I won't be alone, anything is possible!

I am not really sure what's going on with the guy that I was seeing. We spent pretty much every night together last week and it was nice, apart from the last night. He said some things that showed me pretty much what he is looking for right now, and it is not a relationship like he claimed. To be honest, I don't know if I was looking for a relationship with him either. So I am not going to push the matter this week. I'll wait for him to text me. I have a busy week ahead and won't have time to hang out after tonight anyway.

I think I am finally ready for some me and my friends time. The people who really matter in my life! I am feeling ok about the situation with you know who, we have become pretty distant. We are still talking once in a while, but I think I am finally ready to let sleeping dogs lie. I am about to enter into a busy part of the year for me and in the small amount of free time I am going to have there are so many other things I want to work on for me:

NEW APARTMENT

SCHOOL

MORE MONEY

MOTORCYCLE

MAKE NEW FRIENDS

SPEND TIME WITH OLD FRIENDS

 

So there hopefully won't be too much time to stop and worry about things I cannot control. Here's hoping this is the breakthrough I have been waiting for!

 

But on today's agenda, new apartment. I have seen a few that I could probably just about afford. I have set myself a move date of November 1st so I'm going to make some calls today and see what happens. Wish me luck! Here's to a great Monday, a fantastic week and an amazing end to 2012!