Trying to Move On

I had a date last night. I wasn't really too sure about it. It was a guy who really didn't catch my attention at first. We had just been talking a while so I figured it was about time we hung out. Well last night was definitely a sign that you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover. He is way better looking in person that in any of the pictures I had seen. And he was really easy to get a long with. That coupled with the fact he is a great kisser had me all won over. We went to a bar near where he lives and had a couple of beers and some food, then we went and got ice cream (my favourite) and then went back to his place to watch a movie. I had sworn off going back to a guy's place on a first date but this just felt comfortable. So we went and watched Ted. We made out and cuddled but that was it. I really wanted to do more and I think he did too but we were good, we behaved. I have decided that if I want anything to ever progress with a guy into more than just a hook up I have to hold back. If they are willing to wait too then they are worth my time. And I guess it worked because, despite the fact I brought it up this morning, we are hanging out again tomorrow and going to a movie at mid-night. I'll have to make sure I get a nap before. After the last mid-night movie I saw I was destroyed the next day. Not to mention that I have a busy weekend ahead.

So maybe this will be something to help distract me for the time being and, who knows, maybe it will turn into something more. We are both in similar situations right now, we are both divorced, although his seems a lot fresher in his mind than mine is. I just need to take a step back and go slow this time. I have a habit of rushing in like a crazy person and destroying anything before it has a chance to start.

Tonight I'm meeting a friend for dinner and then I have a therapy appointment. I'm looking forward to catching up with my friend. It's been a while since it was just the two of us. I'm really good friends with her boyfriend too so it's usually at least the three of us when we hang out. Then I have therapy at 8pm. It will be my second appointment and I do feel better than last week. I know it's probably for the wrong reasons though and any one little thing could send me spiraling back down to that dark place. I am going to mention this to her tonight because I really don't want that to happen. I already feel a little nervous that it may be starting to happen. I let too many of my feelings rely on other people, people that I don't neccessarily trust to treat me right. It's a tricky situation that I know I need to watch out for.

Tomorrow, hopefully, I am going to the movies with this new guy, then Friday I'll need and early night so I'm ready for my motorcycle training at 7:30am on Saturday morning. It's going to be a fun weekend. I'm excited to finally be learning and getting my license. I just home I like it as much as I think I'm going to. Then next weekend I have booked a trip down to Pennsylvania to go the the Buccs home show and then I think the weekend after that is when my Dad is here, I'm not sure if I'm missing a day in there somewhere or not. Anyways, it's helping me to heal a little, although deep down I am still clutching at that small hope, and that's what I really need to come to terms with.